Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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