Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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