How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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