how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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