A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the blue berry cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops