A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Roses are red.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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