Knock Knock. Doors open

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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