Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

Wait! hundred billions!

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

America

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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