How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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