How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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