Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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a irish man walks past a bar

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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