What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops