youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops