periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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