Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops