Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Click here to end the world.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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