What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Alex Gedrose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

SBB

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops