What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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