I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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