So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops