What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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WNBA

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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