Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops