How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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wenis

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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