A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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