Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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eat a hot dog

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops