Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops