What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Your mums a potato

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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