Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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