"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

If you have a stroke, call 000

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

Your mother is so fat.

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

A dog is always in the pushup position.

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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