A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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SHUT UP JP

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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