Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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