A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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