q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops