a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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