whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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