What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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dyslexic's Untie

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops