How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KATE WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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