Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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I don't get it

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops