When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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learn. advance!

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What is my name? I dont know

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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