how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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