knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops