That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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womens rights

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

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Dead girls can't say no.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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