a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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