A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Happy Monday!

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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matt is fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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