Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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