I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

Caramel Boing.

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...