One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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You were born.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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test test

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops