A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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