"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops