Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Title IX

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops