Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Emily Walker.

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

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the midget went to the midget store

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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