What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops