Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

i dont fisish anythi

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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