why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops