A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Trump will make America great again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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