why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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Cheese

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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Title IX

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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